


Luke 2:13

by Nostalgian (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Domestic, Family, Gen, Humor, Humour, OOC?, Swearing, ooc, spoilers s8/s9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2018-01-02 11:30:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Nostalgian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the Angels have been restored to Heaven - and that does mean all the angels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Luke 2:13

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not feeling terrible confident in the portrayal of any character featured here, but this is light fun and to be taken with a spoonful of salt.

For perhaps the fourth time that day, Castiel had dropped to the floor, and rolled under Dean’s bed and for the latest time that day, a freshly-vesseled angel – this time a blonde-haired six year old in pigtails – splashed into existence in the doorway. “Is Cas hiding under the bed?” She asked sunnily.

“Gabriel?”

Gabriel twirled about, showing off the small child. “Like what you see?”

“Ugh.” Dean flicked a page of scans over, and adjusted his tie. “How can a child that age even consent to possession?”

There is a muffled thunk as Cas hits his head on the underside of the bed, and a cough of some gibberish about the precise requirements of vessel possession. Dean is suitably unimpressed and Gabriel peers under the bed, and finally seizes Cas by the ankle and drags him out. Dean snorts under his breath: Michael, Lucifer and Raphael hadn’t had the guts to do that.

“Brother!” Gabriel crowed. “How you doing?”

Castiel scrabbles at the floorboards as Gabriel finished dragging him out from under the bed.

There is a flurry of wingbeats as the rest of the archangels crack into the room. Lucifer is wearing a slightly overweight teenage boy with a neckbeard – and christ, Lucifer’s wearing a fedora too. Michael on the other hand is wearing a gorgeous but flat-chested Asian that Dean would rate a good 10/10 would bang, although Dean has to wonder how Michael got into a vessel that’s clearly not Winchester-y. Same for Lucifer – Dean hopes. Raphael is about the only one who isn’t wearing something Dean considers weird: tall, dark and handsome.

“I got Cas!” Gabriel actually sounds more light-hearted than Dean remembers. Little girl hyped on sugar light-hearted. Castiel squirms and thrashes as Gabriel yanks him to his feet.

“Dean.” Castiel has that hang-dog puppy look going on again.

“This is your family.” Dean inspects another tablet scan, pretending he can understand a lick of it. “You deal with them.”

“Brother,” Michael says a bit stiffly, looking around the room uncertainly. When he looks at Dean – who okay is maybe watching this all very surreptiously and could do with a box of popcorn – Dean winks at the angel. Michael blanches and focuses on Castiel: “The instructions are quite clear.”

Lucifer scratches irritably at his neckbeard.

“I don’t think I can help you.” Castiel mumbles, sending Dean clear eyebrow waggles begging for help. Dean snorts in response.

“You should be glad it’s just us – the entirety of heaven wants to speak with you, brother.” Raphael comments.

“We will be sure to disseminate all the righteous words you have.” Michael assures. “So you need not tell it more than once.”

“Now I really don’t think I can help you.” Castiel wilts on the spot, and Gabriel drags him down to a six year old vessel level.

“You better get talking Cas or we’ll sic Lucy on you.”

“Thanks,” Lucifer sneers at Gabriel. “I’m your dog now?”

Michael shoots them both an annoyed expression.

Lucifer sneers at Michael.

Castiel tries to wriggle from Gabriel’s grip in the interim, and Gabriel holds him fast. “Brother.” Raphael says with more than a hint of annoyance. Smitey-annoyance. It’s been awhile since Raphael and Castiel last interacted, actually.

“He’s not as strong as me.” Gabriel comments lazily.

“That’s strange.” Michael contemplates Castiel, and then flicks him - straight into Dean and they crash onto the floor. “Yes, he is no more powerful than he should be.”

“Didn’t even get a promotion when daddy appointed you a big hotshot?” Lucifer snickered.

“Are you even an angel at this point?” Gabriel asks in disbelief.

“A little?” Castiel clambers to his feet and helps Dean up, dusting Dean down in a flagrant failure to maintain personal space.

Lucifer kicks Michael in the shin before trotting over towards Castiel and giving him a good once over. “His grace is returning slowly; dad appears to be resupplying it.” Lucifer rolls his eyes. “What the hell did you do to your actual grace?”

“Metatron took it.” Dean gathers up the print-outs with a roll of his eyes right back at the former-devil.

“Metatron?” The angels look appropriately shocked.

Castiel gives a single, hapless shrug. “I was trying to help.”  
  
“Little brother was trying to help?” Lucifer spat. “That is your excuse for everything Castiel.”

“Morningstar,” Michael cut over, voice solemn. “Father’s will…”

Raphael sidles over to inspect Castiel. “If it is our Father’s will, I expected a more instant resupply of your grace.”

“Castiel can’t be trusted with his grace.” Lucifer growled, adjusting his fedora. “What is with this goddamn hat?”

“Brother!” Michael snapped. “You take the nam-”

“Damn Damn Christ Jesus Godfuck Damn.” Lucifer trilled off. “Jeezy Chreezy Christ Christmas Goddamn Hell Hell Fuck Fuck Fuck.”

Michael gaped at his brother.

Gabriel let go of Castiel, who straightened and backed behind Dean. “Maybe he’s getting bumped up a pay grade and dad doesn’t want to overwhelm him.”

“He’ll probably know of revelation once that’s done.” Raphael reasoned.

“Probably,” Gabriel chased Castiel round Dean’s back. “How are you feeling mio Castiello?”

Dean shoved Castiel towards Gabriel again, and Castiel squawked.

“I’m late for work!”

“Work?” Michael seemed to come out of his shocked-stare-at-Lucifer and perked up considerably at the word. “God has work for us?”

“No,” Castiel protested. “I have a shift starting-”

“A shift where?” Raphael asked.

“Your wings can’t be ready to shift yet.” Gabriel pointed out tartly.

“He could possibly reach the other side of this room.” Lucifer shrugged.

“No, I have a shift at…”

“I wouldn’t even try, Cas,” Dean commented, and flopped back on his bed and began looking at the sheets again. “So what’s going on? Y’all are looking remarkably well since I last saw you lot,” He nods at Lucifer and Michael. “You guys are looking emancipated,” Grins at Lucifer. “And very not-the-devil-anymore.” He glances at Gabriel and Raphael. “And you guys look very healthy for a couple of dead guys.”

“The tablet restored the angels to heaven.” Castiel says smoothly.

“All the angels?” Dean waved his hand meaningfully at Lucifer.

“All.”

“Yes, the word of God has returned the status quo to the original cast,” Gabriel commented wryly, brushing a few blonde curls away from his (Dean considered Gabriel’s vessel) her eyes. “What I want to know is where you guys found the tablet?”

“Agreed, the tablet has been lost for as long as we can remember.” Michael is puzzled. “It seems-” Lucifer is whistling innocently. “Brother, what did you do?” Michael glowers meanly at Lucifer.

“I may have buried the angel tablet.” Lucifer shrugs. “Not like I had a prophet to hand.”

“Are you supposed to be a prophet?” Raphael eyes Dean, who is still trying to focus on the photocopies of the tablet. “You’re not on the list.”

“You sound like a bouncer at a club.” Dean adjusts the papers.

“What I’d love to know is why dad left us a whole new tablet that just says to talk to our baby brother.” Lucifer peers over Dean’s shoulder. “Cassie seems a weird choice for a favourite son.”

“You guys do know your dad has showed up a couple of times almost exclusively to raise Cas from the dead?” Dean asks, smirking.

“You can’t prove that was God.” Michael frowned.

“Yeah well we don’t know who actually did raise him.” Raphael looks a little sour. “He should have been properly exploded after I was done with him.”

“And after the Leviathons.” Dean flicks through to another page.

“I may have let those out.” Castiel quickly explains when Michael gapes at Dean. Dean winks at Michael again – and giggles at the effect it has on the archangel.

“Let out the Levia-?” Lucifer is howling with laughter and his hat falls off, as he rests his hands on his knees, still spluttering with giggles and snorts.

“I was trying to help.”

“You are always trying to help.” Gabriel says a little resentfully.

“So God showed up and just told you to talk with Cas then?” Dean asks, setting the papers down on the bed.

“Yes.” Michael says rather primly, Lucifer kicks him in the shin again, and like that, the two of them are bickering.

“Cas?”

“I don’t know.” Castiel mumbles a little sadly. “I’m late for work and I don’t know what I can say to you.”

“I’m sure he’ll know once his feathers grow in.” Gabriel says to himself, almost assuringly.

~

However, even as Cas rejuices up, he apparently still has no real advice for his brothers and Dean is a little tired of all the heavenly host wandering around the house.

“Apple?” Lucifer holds out a piece of fruit to Dean, who has the biggest are-you-shitting-me face known to mankind. Sensibly, he refuses the apple, and Lucifer shrugs.

“What do you want?”

“You and Castiel are close right?” Lucifer takes a big bite of apple and continues with his mouth full. “So, what do you know?”

“That you’re a pimply teenager who I’m pretty sure I kicked the ass of on Halo.”

Lucifer scowls, and swallows his bite of apple. “What do you know about the divine plan? Has Cas said anything?”

“Have you asked him?”

Lucifer takes another bite of apple. “Just keeps saying he doesn’t know anything.”

“Which he doesn’t.”

“Oh come on,” Lucifer wheedles. “You can tell me.”

Dean has that are-you-shitting-me face back on and Lucifer gives an almighty sigh before stalking off.

~

Dean next catches Lucifer all up in Castiel’s space, cornering Cas in the kitchen and looking like a date rapist.

“Will you lot leave him alone?” Dean muttered. “Cas,” Dean jerks his head at the door. “Bar?”

Castiel hurriedly takes the cue and before Dean can say grace they’re in a bar however many leagues away. Unfortunately, it only takes the archangels about half an hour to locate them.

“Hey!” Gabriel squawks as he’s kicked out of the bar. Sucks to be in the vessel of a tiny girl.

“ID?” Lucifer spluttered from the doorway. “I don’t need ID! I’m Satan him- Get your hands off me or I will smite the ever loving- Hey! Michael!”

Dean giggled into his beer.

“Miss, do you know this young man?” The Bouncer asked.

Dean is really hoping Michael is wearing the clothes the vessel came in, because damn, are you an angel because that little black dress you got on is heaven.

“I’ve never seen him in my life.” Michael lied.

Dean coughs up a mouthful of beer.

Raphael peers at Castiel. “You drink?”

“Under certain circumstances…” Castiel lunges for his pint and tries to swallow the whole thing.

“From the lady,” The barkeep passes Raphael a fruity drink, and the angel turns to stare at a lovely brunette with confused eyes. Raphael sits heavily down next to Castiel and downs the drink in one gulp. “And her number.” A coaster taps against Raphael’s empty glass.

“Yes, yes of course.” Raphael agrees hurriedly, not really there anymore. Castiel picked up the coaster and apologetically handed it back to the brunette.

“He is not your type.”

Dean chuckled, and Raphael is luckily still out of it, or he’d be having a conniption. The girl has mistaken Castiel for Raphael’s lover. Castiel plops back in next to Dean.

“Three more.” Dean orders. Michael tapped Dean on the shoulder, and Dean rolled his eyes. “Make that four.”

“I don’t want-” Michael begins and Dean shrugged.

“Then I’ll have two. Or better yet Raphael or Castiel can have two – their livers handle it better.”

“We must speak ab-”

“I’ll answer any questions you like,” Castiel cut over. “If you dance out on the floor for the next half an hour.”

Michael’s eyes have brightened at the idea of answers and the angel marched in clicky-clacky heels towards the dance floor. Already creepers are leaning in close enough to get smote, as Michael considers the movements of the rest of the dancers and begins doing an awkward swaying, bouncing movement.

“That was mean Cas.” Dean smirked.

“Twenty says Michael doesn’t hit anybody.” Castiel offered.

“Done.” Dean swiveled around in his chair to watch Michael trying to avoid a creepy grinder.

“Are you ogling the archangel?” Castiel asked, a tiny smile playing at his lips.

“Maybe.” Dean took a gulp of his drink, and peered at Cas with interest, “Any reason why he’s not in a Winchestery vessel?”

“God.” Cas sipped his beer. “Gabriel is no longer a trickster, and I’m no longer fallen.”

Michael has punched an overly feely interloper – not very hard, seeing how the man still has a face and not a pizza – but nevertheless, Castiel quietly passed a twenty to Dean.

By the time they’re kicked out, Michael is screeching black and blue about sexism, humans and something involving dragging them down to the pit of hell himself. Raphael is still in his fugue state. Lucifer and Gabriel are leaning against the wall outside, talking amicably.

“Something got your knickers in a twist brother?” Lucifer chuckled. “Literally.”

“Go shave.” Michael snapped, and with a clatter of feathery wings the entire party is right back at the Winchester’s bunker.

~

Lucifer is lazing on the sofa when Sam asks what is apparently a dumb question.

“So why aren’t you, y’know, trying to destroy the world?”

The archangel rolls a pair of rich brown eyes at Sam and gestures meaningfully at his back – Sam can’t actually see anything special about the angel’s back.

“Because I’ve been forgiven.”

“Oh, well,” Sam stutters. “Of course? That explains everything.”

“It does,” Gabriel pipes up, chewing on a twix. “Dad kicked Lucifer out and now he’s back home, everything is cool.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Lucifer shrugged. “I’m not going to be worshipping yourmonkeys.”

“Ah, well.” Sam really would have been better off not questioning the matter.

“And I’m actually really glad that you boys stopped the apocalypse,” Lucifer continued, and eyed Sam’s hair contemptuously. “Since your hair is an apocalypse all its own.”

~

Castiel is trying his best to work, but it’s harder than it looks when Gabriel is snatching up one of every single candy possible, Lucifer is examining the shelving behind Castiel’s head with interest, still scratching at his beard, Raphael is peering at the labels of various energy drinks and Michael is frowning and staying out of the way.

“Can I help you?”

“Will you need ID if I want cigarettes?” Lucifer said thoughtfully.

Lucifer is the second eldest of the angels, his lifespan a blast of fire on the temporal line of the universe.

“No.” Castiel goes with.

“Great, give me some cigarettes.”

“$6.” Castiel rings it up on the till. “Please.”

Lucifer gives Castiel a dirty look, and crosses his arms over his chest. “Fuck off, baby bro.”

Castiel shrugged at Lucifer.

“I will blast this shop sky-high?” Lucifer tried.

“I’ll be fired if I don’t charge you.” Cas thought briefly of calling for his manager, but then decided it would probably be a better idea if he handled this particular customer.

Lucifer dug in his vessel’s pockets for a moment, before slapping a crinkly bill on the counter. “Fine.” Gabriel struggled up the counter and scowled at Castiel.

“Is Cas seriously charging us?” Gabriel looked at his armful of delicious chocolate. “I’m five – I don’t have a wallet.”

Lucifer slammed another bill on the counter.

~

Gabriel frowned at Dean, chewing on a twix like it was the last meal he’d ever have. “Can I have a beer?” He asked, gesturing at the fridge, curls bouncing with a nod of his head.

Dean spluttered on his first swig. “What? You’re like five!”

“Five million plus years old you mean.”

“Your vessel is like five at the most!”

“Details!”

“You are not getting a little kid drunk, Gabriel!”

“What you think I’m a light-weight because I’m half your size?”

“If that!” Dean stepped in front of the fridge. “If you touch a single beer, I will tell Castiel to not tell you a single goddamn thing.”

“You wouldn’t.” Gabriel’s eyes narrowed.

“Watch me,” Dean warned and eyed the ceiling. “I pray to the feathery butt of Castiel to-”

“Alright, alright!” Gabriel snapped, and stomped off in a foul temper.

~

Over the next few days, Gabriel tried just every variation on asking Dean for a beer, and Dean can’t wrap his head around it. Eventually they settle on a conclusion that when Gabriel starts in with the big cute eyes, asking for a Marlboro Gold, or a Buddweiser, that Dean will then pick Gabriel up and say with as much baby-talk as he can squish into his voice:

“Does the big gwown up Gabby wanna beer?”

And then he will carry Gabriel squirming around the house until Gabriel wings away.

The big cute eyes offense is something that Gabriel has been using more and more. Dean catches Sam making Gabriel food, helping Gabriel reach high-shelves and when Dean walks in on Sam with Gabriel perched on his shoulders, as Gabriel draws rather fancy looking enochian symbols in blood on their wall, Dean gives Sam a look of betrayal.

“But the eyes!” Sam protested.

Dean doesn’t think Gabriel can get tougher, at least until he walks in on Lucifer fixing Gabriel a sandwich.

~

Gabriel is sipping on a beer, with two cigarettes perched in his other hand when Dean finds the archangel. The picture is not pleasant, and Dean is too shocked to say anything at first.

That is until he sees the archangel sitting cross-legged next to Gabriel, happily chatting, drinking and smoking himself.

Lucifer is apparently not a softie towards Gabriel’s eyes – apparently he’s just some weirdo giving brother.

“Stop gawking.” Gabriel puts in, and gestures Dean over. “Luci, give Dean a beer.”

Lucifer frowned. “But it’s my beer…” Nevertheless, he tossed a can over towards Dean. “Whatever monkey,” Dean edged over towards the two angels, and finding neither waved him away, sat on the brick wall to the side. “So as I was saying I had the biggest bitch of a time taking down this trio of demons in Rome.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes expressively. “They run?”

“Only after giving me this huge betrayed face, I mean fucking hell, what were they expecting?”

“It’s almost like they haven’t met you.”

“So they turn tail and run and where do they run?”

“Hell.” Gabriel snorted. “Fucking demons.”

“I know, right?” Lucifer laughed. “I’m motherfucking Lucifer – hell is nowhere safe for any demon.”

“Hold it,” Dean stared at Lucifer. “You’re hunting demons?”

“I am an angel.” Lucifer pointed out.

“But you’re Lucifer.”

“What is it you people don’t get?” Lucifer pointed at his back. “Can’t you see the goddamn halo wings? I’m forgiven.”

“No I can’t see your goddamn halo wings.” Dean groused. “I still don’t trust you, forgiven or whatever you want to call it.”

Lucifer sighed and took a drag from his cigarette. “Alright fine, okay, so some teenage kid gets in a spat with his daddy and his dad kicks him out of home. Kid has a shit time on the street, tries to go home and finds it empty, trashes it a bit.”

“A bit?” Dean asked incredulously.

“It’s all relative.” Gabriel shrugged.

“Matter of perspective I guess, whatever, it’s all a bit shit.” Lucifer takes another gulp of cigarette smoke and spits it out again. “So years later, Daddy goes – hey guess what kiddo come home we miss you you’re forgiven – I sure as fuck am not bringing up our old argument.”

“Don’t get my brother wrong,” Gabriel takes a slurp of beer and burps so cutely, Dean flinches. “He still hates you guys so much.”

“So, so much.” Lucifer agreed.

“But it’s not a good time to argue – we’re all just glad to see him again.”

“And I’m just glad to be back home.” Lucifer drank from his beer. “I just, you know what I’m too damn happy to try and armageddon the shit out of you savages.” Lucifer laughed. “Fuck, I just want to see my baby brothers and annoy the crap out of my big one.”

~

As it turns out annoying the crap out of Michael doesn’t work too well (or works a little too well), because it’s not long before there’s an outright scuffle in the middle of the living room. Raphael attempts to intervene, but ends up with an angelic elbow to the face and calls it a day.

In the end it’s Sam who successfully stopped the fight, which Dean can’t even wrap his head around.

Sam sets the angels down before the television, hands them two controllers and says in a dead serious voice. “This is Mario Kart.”

“This is shit.” Lucifer muttered. “No, Michael! I want the green dinosaur, goddamn it you selfish pile of crap.”

The two brothers become perfectly embroiled, and both of them discuss the might and power of the Rainbow Road in weird detail over breakfast the next day. Dead serious. Mario Kart appears to work.

~

Castiel is just about leaking grace by the time he seems to stop reangelifying. He’s grateful to no longer need the bathroom, but continues to shower anyway. It’s soothing in an oddly human way.

Unlike Michael waiting right outside the shower for him, with a firm look in his eye.

Castiel walks out, fluffing his hair with a towel and Michael is right there in his space.

“I order,” Michael sounds so sure this will work. “You to reveal our father’s revelation.”

Cas shoved Michael out of the way, flinging the towel in his face as he stepped down the hallway. Whatever Castiel is, he’s clearly heavily upgraded and outclassing Michael like it’s nobody’s business.

Michael chases Cas down the hallway, full of authority issues and Castiel manages to toss him right back down the hallway with a distinctly casual: “Bite me.”

~

“How does Raphael fit in?” Sam asks out of nowhere, and Dean and Cas both look at him like he’s gone a bit spare in the head. “Guys-” Sam gestures at Michael and Lucifer playing video games, Gabriel manning a huge bowl of popcorn that Lucifer made (and didn’t mojo, Cas shrugs at that question – “Lucifer appreciates hard work.”) and the three of them nibbling at the popcorn. “How does Raphael fit into the siblings?”

“I don’t like Raphael.” Castiel comments with deep understatement.

“We can hear you.” Gabriel called out.

“How does Raphie fit in?” Dean asked Cas curiously, ignoring the annoying high pitched voice of the messenger of God.

“The rational brother?” Castiel commented after a few second’s consideration.

“So the straight man?” Dean snorted. “I thought Michael might take that honour.”

"He and Lucifer bicker too much." Sam notes, Cas hums in agreement.

“Where Lucifer and Michael argue, Gabriel peace-keeps and Raphael-”

“Runs to daddy?” Dean laughed.

Gabriel throw popcorn at them. “We can hear you!”

Michael – of all the angels – snorts under his breath: “So what? It’s true.”

~

“Dean, please,” Michael has brought Dean an apple pie – an entire pie – and a bottle of frosty beer. “You must tell Castiel to reveal our father’s wishes.”

Dean takes the beer, and the pie and smiled a little sadly at Michael. “I really don’t think he’s lying Michael, daddy didn’t give him instructions.”

“Then why are we ordered to talk to him!” Lucifer bursts out from round a corner.

Gabriel squawks as Lucifer dislodges him, and Dean sighed loudly until Raphael appeared. The four archangels stared at Dean in a way Castiel doesn’t do as much these days.

“Maybe Cas knows something you don’t?” Dean pulls the beer cap off with his ring.

“But you just said dad didn’t leave instructions.” Gabriel scowled.

Dean slugged some of the beer back. “Look, you guys are the most annoying shits ever so,” He put the pie to the side. “Castiel is probably the coolest angel I’ve met yet.”

“Gay.” Gabriel pulled a face.

“You really are five years old aren’t you?” Dean rolled his eyes. “All I’m saying is maybe God wants you learn something from Cas.”

“Castiel is an idiot.” Lucifer snapped. “He actually enjoys humanity.”

“Golly,” Dean mocked. “God asks you to venerate man and when you don’t, tells you to talk to your model little brother.”

“Castiel is a traitorous angel,” Michael retorted. “He won’t follow orders.”

“Gosshh,” Dean waved his arms around. “God intervenes to reward the team rooting for free will, it’s almost like insubordination is the thing he’s after!”

“Gabriel does human stuff just as much as Castiel.” Raphael argues.

“And I’m twice as insubordinate!” Lucifer defended.

“Yeah but Cas ain’t a dick about either.” Dean plucked up his pie. “Figure it out yourselves featherbrains.”

Dean is most of the way to the other side of the house, but he still hears the Gabriel remark Cas could probably teach them more about sodomy than anything else. Archangels are so mature.

~

That evening, Castiel and Dean have carefully warded Dean’s room, set up a nice television in it, and are watching baseball. “Hey Cas?” Dean asks between a mouthful of burger.

“Mh?” Castiel carefully bit down on a fry.

“Did the good lord leave you any instructions?” Dean pressed. “Like just, to ask.”

“Yep,” Cas took another bite of burger. “Why?”

Dean blinked at Castiel rapidly. “Woah, shoot really?”

Castiel stared up at the ceiling, reciting, and laughter eagerly dancing behind his voice: “Hey there Cas, sorry I’ve been busy, keep your brothers out of trouble for a bit and I’ll be home soon.”

“So you’re…?”

“I find,” Cas ate another fry pristinely. “They tend to fight less if they have something to focus on.” Cas pulled a weary, annoyed face. “I hope it does not take too long or I will have to kill Gabriel.”


End file.
